ive almost forgotten the feeling of vomiting, since the last time i vomited was such a long time ago.
anyways yesterday, after i took my lunch (porridge, for all meals, cos i simply cannot bring myself to swallow anything else), i went back to my room to sleep. then my stomach started gurgling and my chest started feeling tight. i knew that i was about to vomit so i stuffed a candy into my mouth, trying to stop the feeling. but then it all rushed up my throat and out it came... whoosh. luckily i was prepared and it all went into the garbage can.
and today morning. i didnt want to eat anything, so i didnt, but i had to take my medicine, so i did. ok that sounds weird. anyways apparently the medicine HAD to be taken after i had actually eaten something, so i sat next to the garbage can vomiting for 3 minutes. the medicine tasted absolutely horrible when coming out.
i hate vomiting. i hate medicine. i hate being sick.





what do i do every day when im at home, sick? sleep. what happens when i wake up? eat, drink, then start to have headaches, go back to sleep. im so so so tired although i dont actually do anything. and the surprising thing is ive grown one cm while losing one kg. abnormal. my mother claims that if i grow when i have a fever, having a fever is not so bad after all. yeah right. its not her being sick.
anyways i went to the doctor today. my throat was hurting really badly. my parents said that my throat was rotting(!). they wanted me to take a look at my blood-red throat in the mirror. eww. who wants to do that?
the doctor said that the left side of my throat was completely swollen. i never realised it until he said that, and it was a big scare when i felt the large bump on my throat. the doctor said that it was very serious, and that if i didnt recover soon, he might have to slice it off(!). so im supposed to see him again on thursday for another checkup. sigh.
my mother then went to the shop-and-save near the clinic and bought me liang cha. it doesnt taste nice, i tell you. ive been drinking it for the past three days. ive finished at least two packets of it already. and then she started tempting me by asking me if i wanted candy. i was like "as if i could!" but she bought a packet of da bai tu anyways.
the most horrible thing was that the doctor gave me so much medicine that i had to swallow 10 tablets everyday. it may not seem horrible to you, but to a person like me who does not know how to swallow a tablet, it is pure hell. even worse, the tablets are BIG. my mother kept scolding me as i was trying to force the tablets down my sore throat just now. "zhe me da le hai bu hui tun yao, wo 3 sui jiu hui le!" i sat at the table for at least half an hour spitting out water. it was absolutely... horrible. and when i could not swallow in time, the bitter taste filled my whole mouth. i hate medicine. I HATE MEDICINE.
im going to sleep again now. byebye.






my brother!!! so cute right.

blood type - AB
birthday - 29/9





hey people, LISTEN UP! tsubasa reservoir chronicles is showing on tv every sunday, 4.30, channel u. must watch!
thats all. byebye.





oh shit. im sick.
my throat feels absolutely horrible. its painful to swallow.
omg. my head hurts. i want to sleep but i cant fall asleep.
shit. i think my depression yeaterday caused this.
i seriously dont know whats wrong with me.
am i mad?





going to use third-person for this kay.

[carly alone] carly is crazy. carly loves tsubasa. carly is insane. carly hates backstabbers. carly is mad. carly wants to be loved (to sickos : not that kind la...). carly loves everybody, except for those really really bad people. carly is lonely. carly likes to watch ins 2. carly says hi. carly thinks that annie is really cool (==") . carly loves annie's tigger handphone holder =). [annie barges in] aiya in short CARLY LOVES ANNIE. and carly is wondering why the raffles shout isn't here yet. and annie too. (:carly loves 6J. carly loves the guai family. carly insists that the raffles person just walked past and is trying her best to argue with annie and failing cos annie is older and doesn't know better. haha. carly wonders why annie is dominating this post. carly is listening to nice songs now. [pushes annie aside]

annie: as you can see this post is randomly very random :D
carly: it started out well... until i somehow started liking your stuff...

lets continue.
carly is going bonkers. she wants annie's msn and gmail convo windows to stop blinking. and especially stop blinking BRIGHT ORANGE!!! will get blind one!!!

annie: DIAO
carly: ehh let me continue.

anyways. carly needs to think. carly has forgotten what to say. carly blames it on annie. annie doesn't seem to care. carly is glaring at the flashing gmail convo window. grr.

WHATEVERRRRR man.
aiyo. so rude. my blog leh. consider it a priviledge (sp. correct?) to blog here. =) haha. i have such a big ego. annie swats carly. carly couldn't care less.

WHATEVER MAN. go away.
i know i using your com but please la its my blog. anyways as you can see this post is damn screwed so you might as well have never seen it. byebye. i will repost.





Tsubasa Chronicle Opening (BLAZE) - Textless

OMG i love this song. I love TSUBASA. Must watch!!!





ok. i guess holidays aren't that boring. i've almost finished watching TRC!!! so happy!
their story is so sweet.
to save sakura and retrieve her memories, syaoran looks for the witch of dimensions and she helped him, saying that she wanted the relationship between him and sakura as a pay back.
syaoran makes so many sacrifices and takes her to so many places to find her feathers of memory, fighting and getting hurt, but not minding it at all.
and although she does not remember him, their love doesn't change.
ahh well... no such luck for me. but im only 12 what, still have a whole life to live and enjoy!
going to start watching the SRG may shuen lent me. supposed to be a... more... violent form of Xi You Ji? i watched the ending before on tv. and i really like this show. vulgar and violence mixed together, rocks!
and goong is progressing very... err... funnily? but very emo also... makes me want to cry!
watch tv, watch tv, watch tv... i'm becoming zoenin, the tv lover...





i should have loved a thunderbird instead by annie zeng

I guess this is the end of it all. No more.I've deleted every single(well not every single one) of your messages on Friday 4th August 2006. Amazing, ain't it?A whole year.It took me a whole year to let go.To tell the truth, I don't know why it is called letting go when I never had you in the first place.I was too blind to see.I should have known, it was there all along.But it took me this long to realise that it was never meant to be. No matter how much I do for you, it is never anything.Only when you need help do you turn around and crawl to me.When you don't need help, I might as well don't exist. So much for your "I thank God for friends like you".I doubt we are considered as friends, because the last time I checked, friends talk to each other and they are there for each other no matter what happens.So don't pretend to care, because throughout this course of the year, I've come to understand that you don't give a damn.Well, I guess we've now gone down to friends who only smile and acknowledge each other when they meet, feeling too awkward to talk.Then after half a year or so, we'll just simply have to pretend not to see each other, because even the smile wouldn't belong.After that comes the gradual fading away from each other's lives.That would be the true goodbye.And in answer to your question, yes I am very angry.You make me sick.You have proven to be a big disappointment.
I should have loved a thunderbird instead, at least when spring comes they roar back again.

omg. so good, isn't it! i love this. and i used to be able to relate to it.
that time i was so angry that 214 email messages went down the drain. such a pity. could have used as blackmail =).
and plus my diary pages which had this name were promptly ripped out until i practically only had the diary cover left =0! ok i was just kidding. but the email thing was real. wonder if i could retrieve?
and saved msn convos, bye bye. my trash can was so full it could have burst. ok, sorry, the trash can on the screen cannot BURST. but whatever.
and i ignored! yes i ignored! i think ignoring people has been my biggest achievement. i always succeed in ignoring people. =)
but that's all over, and i'm open to a new world, a new life, a new love. still waiting for you!





THIS IS TRUE.. WELL, HALF TRUE. =)

i'm a bad person. really, i mean it. i've lied, i've hurt, i've been mean. i'm not worth hanging around. oh plus, i'm annoying, arrogant, and a total failure. i should not have been born.
i keep making others angry. and i know that you've been angry at me before too. and i think the only reason why others actually forgive me is because of my tireless pestering. i wonder if you all are talking about me behind my back.
i don't like attention. i never want to attract it. but it somehow happens and you people out there start saying that i'm drama-ish or whatever. i won't fight with you people. you're always right, i'm always wrong.
sometimes, i don't know how to face the world. i dont' know how i manage to get out of bed every morning to face evryone. i don't know how i somehow mix in, though i know perfectly well i don't.
maybe its because of you. my inspiration. without you, my heart may have died, a long, long time ago. it is you whom i look up to, it is you whom i admire. yet, you sometimes don't even notice my presence. with you, i am able to fully express myself, to just relax. but i don't know if you like me. not even as a freind. and i do think that me being close to you may not be possible. but to tell the truth, i really like you. you are unlike all the other guys i've met. so far, no one is as cute, as funny, as thoughful, as everything that you are.
but you hurt me. now, i cannot believe what you say. i can only believe that carly wu is a total failure, a stupid girl who can't achieve her dreams. you need to give me proof.
and that proof, well, it may never be found. because you'll probably never do it. we'll probably walk different steps, never see each other again, and i don't want that to happen. no. but what can i do about it?
i'm just a lonely girl. in a lonely world. just a simple smile can make me feel better. but it never comes from you.
crap. this sucks.





i feel like a lucky duck these days!
first, i got my favourite few episodes of GS on manga! hip-hip-hooray! but damn ex sia...
plus my mother bought me Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles. the anime! vcd! yay!
and may shuen lent me Saiyuki Reload Gunlock =). thanks may!
lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky........................................................

THIS PART IS FICTIONAL

but how come, although i am a lucky person, (well, in this sense at least) i never get what i really, truly want? why do i always have to watch the chance to get it slip away, why can't i do anything about it? why do i have to be such a damn coward?! the chances come again and again, and disappear again and again. sometimes, just as i was about to buck up the courage to, maybe, say something, something happens, and i've lost my chance once again. this dream... may never be fulfilled. why am i so stupid? why cant i do any freaking thing right?





it all starts when you first set your foot into a singapore primary school. your fate is about to be doomed. innocent and childish, you are completely oblivious to the moment that could change your whole life.
its irritating, really. your parents take you to kindergarten when you are young. you cry and throw tantrums, wanting to go home. then when you finally settle down in that place, you are dragged away to primary school. you are unhappy all over again. but you try to settle down, and finally become used to the new environment.
year by year, you find the previous years' primary 6 pupils disappearing, not coming back. you ask your teacher why, and your teacher simply says that they left because of psle. you, excited and curious, decide that you wanted psle, so that you didn't have to go to school anymore. but thats just the first 3 or 4 years.
in primary 5, you realise the true meaning of friendship and teamwork, and learn alot. you become more independent and competitive as your overcome different obstacles. then, in primary 6, the psle issue comes up again. the teachers talk about it all day long, until your ears hurt. except this time, you really dread psle. not only does it need all that time and stress while studying, it sends you on to yet ANOTHER new environment. it makes you nervous, and worse of all, it breaks up the best class and the best freinds you ever had.
it changes your life, and makes you sad when you realise that everyone will be going seperate ways. but we still have to do it and get on with life. all i want to say is : 6J, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT! KEEP IN TOUCH!





the perfect guy, must be caring and humourous.
he must provide a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and a heart to love.
he must be smart, and a perfect gentleman.
the perfect guy should never two-time his girl, nor criticise her, or be too busy for her.
he must care about her and never leave her alone.

but its useless to speculate if a girl will ever find her perfect guy, if she's not the perfect girl herself. so i deng jiu jiu ba. cause i am SO NOT perfect =).

THANK YOU TEENAGE TEXTBOOK / WORKBOOK!





SO FREAKING DAMN PISSED! ok. i have calmed down. now i will tell you what happened.

1. i had to choose between nanyang and rgs.
2. mother said nanyang no school bus, rgs got, so transport is easier for rgs.
3. i woke up at 5.30 one morning just to test the home to nanyang route by public transport.
4. result was 64 minutes, mother says too long, tells me to forget it.
5. parents start going on and on about how good rgs was... blablabla
6. fine lor, no transport, then i gave up nanyang dream.
7. filled in rgs as first choice for dsa form.
8. handed form in. no more changes could be made.
9. received call from my mother's friend.
10. she said that there WAS a freaking school bus to nanyang!!!!! ARGH!!!!!

WTF LA! made me give up my dream school! mother says the bus also too early, 5.45. but do i seem to freaking care?! to go to nanyang i could even wake up at 4 lor!
really really pissed.





COMPLETELY FICTIONAL...

i don't care
its over
it was over a long time ago
didn't you see?

don't come back to me
don't think ill ever come back to you
you started it

i've already done it
i've deleted you from my msn list
i've erased you from my phonebook
i've washed you clean from my memory

don't let me see you again
i'm really fed up this time
although i used to need you
although i used to love you

its over
i hate you
go away
i dont freaking need you anymore





COMPLETELY FICTIONAL... AGAIN.

i sit in front of the window
staring into the starless sky
wondering
again
is it really over this time?

we haven't spoken for days
did anything happen?
why did i suddenly start to forget you?
why did we... pull apart?

i wonder if you're thinking about me
i wonder if you still... remember me

am i still there
in your heart?
do you still care
for me?

why can i only see your emotionless face?
why can i only hear your warmthless words?

is it really over?
is it?





yes i know. so LAME. but I JUST LOVE 6J!!!
very beginners level hor. not like carol, so pro. but got time to improve mah. =)

anyways, today we went to sheryl's party... woohoo!
had kfc for lunch, then played at the playground.
was successful in catching kit chong but was caught by dyon... can't believe it... so zi bei... =(
went up, watched the boys play xbox. quite nice leh, actually.
played piano. very wu liao. but interesting to hear others play. =)
watched others play maple. imagaine. just sitting there and watching. like fa dai like that.
started complaining with weng chen about how bored i was. very men leh.
so we sang, but were soon accused of causing noise pollution.
then we cut the cake! yeah! ice-cream cake! i was looking around the kitchen for the box of dry ice. =) sheryl helped me stuff the dry ice into a bottle filled with water, and poof! we had a v. v. beautiful fountain! then en ying showed us something else. he put the ice on a metal spoon, and it started making this horribly disturbing noise.
the cake was nice =) yummy!
in total, it was a good day. except for the fact that ms lee asked me to go solo for choir. ahh!!!





COMPLETELY FICTIONAL, AS USUAL.

you may not give a damn, but i do.

you two-faced loser.

one moment you act sweet and all that nonsense, the next minute you're mean.

serpent heart, hid with a flow'ring face?

HELLO. i'm not asking for anything, only an explanation. is that too much? if it is, then santa claus is freaking poor.

i don't really care if you hate me, but it's only polite to explain.

we need to talk.





COMPLETELY FICTIONAL AGAIN!
i need to tell you...
i have realised
im not the one for you
not the best in your heart
she is the real person who understands you
needs you
and has you
she is the only one you love
and i dont stand a chance
sorry for the times i ignored you
was cold to you
i didnt mean to be rude
i wanted to hide my feelings
pretend that nothing had happened
and now, please forgive me
for i have realised
that i am not the one for you
so i must leave you
its only fair for her
the one who really loves you
and although my heart is still with you
although i still love you
you belong to her
and she belongs to you
whereas me
i belong
alone

yay! 2nd attempt at REALLY emotional stuff. successful? you tell me. taggie!





COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!
loving you, is like loving loneliness. sadness.
loving you, is like walking into a world of darkness, alone.
loving you, is like being locked up in a cold room, with no feeling.
loving you, is like stabbing myself with a sharp blade. it never heals.
loving you, is like being in a place, with no warmth, no heat, no light, nothing.
its just me alone. standing there. a solitary shadow.
i can see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing.
but, tell me, why do i keep on doing it?





ahh... a nice, whole new look.
i know, its not as nice as the old one but this one is neater.
you can see things more clearly.
ill try my best to find a better one =)!





convo went like this. (something like this, actually.)
sunyu : hey andre, is uranium an alloy?
andre : no lah, uranium is blablabla... it is 40 times as commonly found as silver.
tin hsiao : what, what? 40 silver?
andre : no. 40 times as commonly found as silver.
tin hsiao : 40 silver?
andre and sun yu : 40-TIMES-AS-COMMONLY-FOUND-AS-SILVER!
tin hsiao : 40 silver common?
andre : at least you made an improvement.
edwin : nah, sun yu, this is uranium. *showing book*
sun yu : oh.. uranium is strawberry?!
andre : no lah! you're looking at the wrong picture! uranium is a radioactive blablabla... 40 times as commonly found as silver.
tin hsiao : i never knew uranium was in strawberries.
sun yu : wait, i go ask mrs ching. *asking*
sun yu : ok liao. uranium is a radioactive blablabla...
tin hsiao : what? 40 silver common ultra-active?
andre : psh. RADIO-active.
sun yu : ok, so uranium is not an alloy right?
everyone : *speechless*
sun yu : okok. it is 40 percent as common-
carly : 40 times lah.
sun yu : i thought it was 40 percent?
andre : 40 times lah.
sun yu : okok. 40 times as common as silver.
tin hsiao : what what? 40 silver common?
sun yu : and its radioactive...
andre : yeah, and it can be found in strawberries.
carly: i don't dare to eat strawberries anymore!
tin hsiao : now i know why strawberries are so expensive...
andre : yeah. filled with uranium.
end of story. byebye.

innocent strawberry ->